Ken's REALLY Bad Day
by Eeveelover
Summary: `Bout time I uploaded another fic. Ken's supposed perfect day goes bad. And what the heck is Wallace doin' there?


Ken's REALLY Bad Day  
By: Eeveelover  
  
---  
This is an insane fic. Be afraid, very afraid! `Specially you, Ken! I know you're out  
there reading this! Yes you are, don't deny it! This is your temporarilly mentally  
unstable authress calling! Okay, I've calmed down. Ken's day turns bad because of...  
Dun wanna tell! Just read, okay? And if ya don't like it... I don't blame ya. I did  
this out of boredom fueled by soda pop. ^_^ More original than saying sugar and pixie  
sticks like every other author, huh?  
---  
  
Ken was sitting in his leather chair, watching the screens intentally, drinking a mug  
of hot cocoa. Today, he had a feeling it was going to be a good day. By a good day, he  
meant no annoying DigiDestineds waltzing around the Digi World to destroy his dark  
towers. Ken realized he had finished off his hot cocoa, and then called for Wormmon  
  
"Wormmon, refill my mug!"  
  
The small worm Digimon popped out from the shadows and lowered his head, "Yes Sir."  
and he took the mug. Wormmon then disappeared into shadows once again.  
  
After waiting for about 5 minutes, Ken began to wonder where Wormmon was. He should  
have been back already with a steaming cup of hot cocoa. "Wormmon, where are you?! I  
want my cocoa!"  
  
"Coming Sir!" yelled the worm-thing. He crawled into the room Ken was in and handed Ken  
back his mug.  
  
"About time you worthless Digi-bug thingy." Ken huffed.  
  
He then sat back in his chair and sipped what was supposed to be hot cocoa. Ken made a  
disgusted face and spewed the brown liguid all over the floor.  
  
"It's cold! Wormmon, you idiot, I said HOT cocoa!"  
  
"Yes, I know... but we were out of milk so I made you some chocolate water. It would've  
been warm, but I couldn't figure out how to use the microwave."  
  
"You IDIOT! This is WATER? Yuck!"  
  
"Yes, there isn't anymore milk. You drank the last of it yesterday after finishing  
those anti-stress chocolate chip cookies."  
  
"Isn't there like, a Cowmon or Goatmon around or something?"  
  
"No, Sir I don't think so. Would you like me to go to get you something else?"  
  
"No." Ken said flatly as he scratched his head frustrated. The ring of his mug was  
hanging off his thumb. When Ken looked at it, he became totally angry, "What is THIS?  
THIS ISN'T MY MUG, WORMMON! It's all... pink! I don't like it!"  
  
"I know, sir. I accidentally dropped yours off the counter when filling it with water  
in the sink. I grabbed another mug you had stashed around instead."  
  
"You are so useless, I don't know why I bother with you at all!"  
  
"It's called Fate, sir."  
  
"Don't get all smart-@$$y with me, Wormmon. Go away or something!"  
  
"I can't, sir. I don't have anywhere to go."  
  
"Go hide in that room I never use then! Yeesh, it's so hard to find good help around.  
They always leave you the defects."  
  
Ken put the pink mug in the sink and went back into his viewing room. He decided to  
watch some TV instead of watch over the Digi World. He was planning on watching the  
news, but when he turned one screen to TV mode, it was porn!  
  
"AAAAHHHHHHH! My virgin eyes! Wormmon! WORMMON!"  
  
Wormmon scurried into the viewing room and lowered his head, awaiting orders, "Yes,  
Master?"  
  
"Wormmon, who added the Playboy channel?!"  
  
"I don't know, Master. But I thought you'd like something like that."  
  
"You mean YOU added this channel?!"  
  
"N-no, Master! I just thought that since you were an evil villain kid who had the power  
to do anything you wanted, you wouldn't mind this sort of thing!"  
  
"Just `cause I'm some evil villain kid who has the power to do anything I want, DOESN'T  
mean I want to watch naked women do things on the TV!"  
  
"Uh, why not, Master?"  
  
"BECAUSE! I have morals, you know."  
  
"Um, you do?"  
  
"YES! Now go away again. Go to my storage room and get anything metal. I need something  
to beat something else with."  
  
Wormmon bowed his head and left again. Later, Ken was sleeping in his viewing chair. He  
was resting his head on his hand, which was propped up on the arm rest. He was slightly  
drooling too. While he was sleeping, he sort of felt a strange feeling crawl up his  
legs and stop at his lap. He forced himself to wake, and opened his eyes. What he saw  
was...  
  
"AAAHHHHH!" Ken jumped out of his chair and Wormmon went flying off. Ken was panting  
heavily from being so frightened. "WHAT were you doing crawling all over me?"  
  
"I was just trying to comfort you while you slept. You know, give you the power of  
snuggleness? So you could be snug as a bug?"  
  
"That little teddy bear for some laundry product is the master of snuggley-ness, not  
you! Why must you always bother me?!" Ken slumped back in his chair, totally stressed.  
"Go get me some anti-stress cookies, Wormmon. Oatmeal this time."  
  
"Yes, Master-sir." and Wormmon scurried off again.  
  
Ken was slouched in his chair, bored as ever. So much for his good day, huh? Ken felt  
like going home early. Being the Digimon Emperor today held no excitement for him. No  
fights, nothing action-packed. WAIT! Action, eh?  
  
"I could play a video game! Yes, that'd take my mind off my boredom. I could finish  
'Gauntlet Legends' on my N64! Wormmon, hey WORMMON!"  
  
"Y-yes Master-sir?" said Wormmon as he scurried in.  
  
"Come on, we have to finish Gauntlet Legends today. Hey wait-a-minute, weren't you  
supposed to bring me those anti-stress cookies?"  
  
Wormmon swalled hard and wiped away a few loose crums around his funky purple mouth.  
  
"You ate my cookies?! How could you eat my cookies, Wormmon?! They were MY cookies!  
Mine mine mine! And YOU ate them!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Master-sir. But I was under a lot of stress. It isn't easy being your  
personal flunkie Digimon. But don't worry about me, I feel all better now."  
  
"I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU AT ALL! And the ONLY reason you feel better is because you  
ate my cookies, which you WEREN'T supposed to eat! They were meant for me! Now I'm  
gonna age much faster while you keep you're smooth bug skin, totally stress-free!"  
  
"Well, those anti-stress cookies never worked for you anyway, Ken-chan."  
  
"Ken-chan? What the heck?"  
  
"Well, I've been calling you Sir, then Master, then Master-sir, now I'm calling you  
Ken-chan."  
  
"Gee, what's next?" Ken asked rolling his eyes.  
  
"Hmm..." Wormmon took out a peice of paper from behind his back and put on a pair  
of specs, "I think it's... Ken-sama. Or was it Ken-Ken? It's hard to see in this dim  
light. Ken-chan, you should start paying your electric bill."  
  
"Where do you get off telling ME what to do? Bring some metal chains and I'll give you  
the whippin' you deserve!"  
  
Wormmon put away his peice of paper and specs and quickly scurried off to fetch what  
Ken demanded. Ken slumped back in his chair and decided to play FF7 on his Play Station  
instead.  
  
"Gah, despite my superior intelect, I just can't get out of this level! What am I  
supposed to do? Yeesh, I wish I had a stradegy guide or something. Hey look, a  
Chocobo!"  
  
Wormmon snuck back into the viewing room while Ken continued to play FF7. Wormmon had  
gotten the chains Ken demanded for, but he seemed to have forgotten about them. Wormmon  
could use this to his advantage. Wormmon whipped the chain around Ken's right wrist,  
and caused him to drop the controller.  
  
"AH! Wormmon, what the heck are you doing?! I was about to beat this monster and- NO!  
He killed me! AARRRGGGHHH! Wormmon you stupid peice of bird food what are you thinking?  
You aren't even supposed to think! So I demand why you're doing this!"  
  
Wormmon crawled up Ken's leg again and put his face up close to Ken's, "I'm going to  
have a little fun with you, Ken-chan."  
  
"F-f-fun?!" asked Ken, cowering in his spot.  
  
"Yes." Wormmon flashed Ken very seductive eyes. Well, as seductive as a bug's eyes  
could be. ^^;  
  
"Noooooooo!!! You're gonna turn this into a yaoi fic! No Wormmon, please!"  
  
"Follow me." Wormmon tugged the chain around the Digimon Emperor's wrist. Ken tried  
getting it off, but he just couldn't manage to. Wormmon led him to the bedroom Ken  
never bothered to take a nap in. Ken totally panicked.  
  
"No Wormmon, you wouldn't! You aren't turning this into a LEMON are you?! Please,  
Wormmon. My virginity!"  
  
"Ken-chan, please be quiet." Wormmon flung Ken onto the bed and chained him down.  
  
"Wormmon, you wouldn't dare!"  
  
"No, I wouldn't. What I'm gonna let happen to you is worse then anything I could ever  
do."  
  
Wormmon then jumped off the bed and whistled. The closet door then opened and out  
popped about 20 squealing Chibi-Yolei's.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Wormmon, make them go away! Anything  
but this. NOOOO!!!"  
  
All the Chibi-Yolei's jumped on the bed and started hugging Ken and jumping all over  
the bed. Ken screamed at the top of his lungs in terror. The Chibi-Yolei's just giggled  
and continued to jump all over him. Wormmon stood back and watched.  
  
"Oh poor Ken-chan. What have I done?"  
  
"Aaahhh! What have you done indeed! Ack, get away from there you scarey thing!"  
  
"I didn't mean for it to go this way Ken. He made me do it!" said Wormmon, flailing his  
wittle legs.  
  
"AAAH! Who did, Wormmon? No, not the hair! Leave my hair alone!"  
  
A Chibi-Yolei pulled on Ken's spikey hair. Ken screamed in horrer and anger. His  
beautiful hair was being pulled by one of the most frightening things on the planet!  
And to make it worse, there were 20 of them, all Chibi!  
  
"Wallace made me do it!"  
  
Ken stopped screaming, despite the fact that the Chibi-Yolei's were still bouncing  
all over him, "Wallace?!"  
  
Wallace then popped out of the same closet the Chibi-Yolei's did. He had a large grin  
on his face. He was enjoying seeing the Digimon Emperor scared out of his wits.  
  
"You?!" exclaimed Ken, bewildered.  
  
"Yup! Nice to meet you, Ken Itchy-joe-jee."  
  
"GAH! Everyone always gets it WRONG! It's pronounced 'Ee-chee-joe-jee'. Everyone makes  
my last name sound like they're saying 'Are you itchy Joe? Gee, you are!' I hate that!"  
  
"Well so-rry. You don't need to have a cow!"  
  
"When I want some hot chocolate, I might want to! Ack, no no, stay away from me! MMF!"  
  
A Chibi-Yolei gave Ken a big wet, icky-poo-poo kiss on his lips. She let go and giggled  
herself silly. Ken spit and hacked like he had just swallowed a fly.  
  
"Well, she seems to like you very much."  
  
"Yuck! Er, why are you doing this to me? We don't even meet up with eachother! You're  
only in the movie, and I'm not even in there at all!"  
  
"Yeah, so? I don't like the way you hurt Wormmon. I control your fate now!"  
  
"And how can you do that anyway?"  
  
"I have the Digimental of Fate, DUH! Didn't you watch the movie?"  
  
"No, so NYA! Lemme go now! I don't deserve to suffer THIS much! You could have stopped  
after Wormmon ate my cookies! That was punishment enough!" Ken tried pulling the chains  
off, but they wouldn't move. The Chibi-Yolei's continued to their little antics all  
over him. Pulling his hair, taking his glasses, giving him little kissies all over his  
face and one even put a wedding ring on him!  
  
"Seeing you squirm is so delicious."  
  
"LINE STEALER!" Ken kicked off a Chibi-Yolei and sent it flying at Wallace. Wallace  
cought the Chibi-Yolei, patted it on the head and put her down to give Ken more loving  
torture.  
  
"Marry me, Ken!" said a Chibi-Yolei in a very high-pitched voice, "I wuv you!"  
  
"No no no! I'm under-aged, I can't marry you. And besides, you're too short! I have  
certain requirements for any future wife I may have!"  
  
All the Chibi-Yolei's stopped and sent Ken evil glares. They all then went on a rampage  
through Ken's hideout. They trashed all the screens in his viewing room. They ate all  
the food and broke all the dishes in the kitchen. There was no stopping the Chibi-Yolei  
army. That is, unless Ken agreed to marry them all.  
  
"You IDIOT! Why'd you go and have to anger all the Chibi-Yolei's?! Now they'll never  
stop!"  
  
"Why'd you bring them here in the first place, Wallace?!"  
  
"Grrr, I outta sue that Gennai for making such lousy copies of Yolei. He claimed to be  
the best in the business."  
  
"Gennai? Who's he?"  
  
"He's some guy from the first season of Digimon. I found him in the Hasbeen Business  
Building. He became a cloning scientist."  
  
"Uh... whatever. Erm, UNTIE ME, YOU FIEND!"  
  
"Hehehe, I don't think so, Ken-Ken."  
  
"Who do I look like, Pen-Pen from Neon Genesis Evangelion? I'm not a penguin so don't  
call me that!"  
  
"Mr. Wallace, please untie Ken-sama. He's gone through enough now."  
  
"No way! He deserves to pay for all the pain and torture he's givin you, Wormmon. Cute  
Digimon like you shouldn't suffer!"  
  
"Cute?! You think Wormmon's CUTE?"  
  
"Of course! Just look at those adorable little buggy-bug eyes! And that mug of his is  
just too cute! And his pink little feet!"  
  
"Stop stop! I can't take this. I hate cutesy things. Especially cutesy things that are  
pink!"  
  
"Well, sorry to say this then, Ken. You're gonna get the Digimental of Kindness when  
you get defeated. NYA NYA!" Wallace said as he laughed, "And it's a pink ROSE BUD! HA  
HA HA-HA HA! Ken gets a girly-crest!"  
  
"Grrr.... I get defeated?! And then I get a Digimental? And it's of KINDNESS?!"  
  
"Isn't that great, Ken?" asked Wormmon happilly.  
  
"NO! I wish time could be turned back. I'll be nice, I promise! Please, don't let me  
suffer anymore, Wallace! Pwease?" Ken gave Wallace big cutesy, watery eyes. Well, as  
cutesy and watery as Ken's eyes could get. ^^;  
  
"Aww... your eyes look so cute when they get all big and watery! But still, your eyes  
aren't as cute as Wormmy's. Okay fine, I'll let you go. I'm sure you've been through  
enough. Okay, you'll be back in your leather chair, drinking your hot cocoa with your  
original mug and all."  
  
Wallace shnapped his fingers and *POOF!* the next thing Ken knew he was back in his  
chair, viewing the screens and sipping his mug of hot cocoa. Ah, life was good again.  
  
"Sigh, I love hot cocoa. Almost as much as I love the fact that I can live out the rest  
of this day as a peaceful Emperor governing his peaceful kingdom. Well, it'll only be  
peaceful for today. I mean, I have a reputation to uphold."  
  
Ken sipped his hot cocoa intently. Nothing could go wrong, or so he hoped. He didn't  
want to think of it too much. Ken finished his hot cocoa and asked Wormmon to refill it  
for him.  
  
"Yes, sir." Wormmon took the mug and scurried into the kitchen.  
  
Wormmon returned with Ken's mug. He handed it to Ken. It was full of steaming hot  
cocoa, not cold chocolate water. ~Yes.~ thought Ken to himself. He was positive that  
his day would be perfect. "Thank you, Wormmon."  
  
Wormmon was happy that Ken was being kind today. He thought that Ken might have finally  
learned his lesson.  
  
"Want to play Gauntle Legends, Wormmon?" asked Ken, look down at the green worm.  
  
"Oh, yes sir!" said Wormmon grinning.  
  
Wormmon hooked up the N64, popped in the game and both started playing. It was pretty  
fun for both of them. That is, until-  
  
"AAAHHHH!" wailed Ken as he threw the controller up in the air.  
  
"What is it, Ken-chan?"  
  
"How do you get that darn sword?! I can't figure out how to get it! I mean, isn't there  
some platform that leads to it?"  
  
"I have no idea sir."  
  
"Gah." Ken picked up his controller again. But when he looked down at it- "AAAHHHHHH!"  
  
"Hehehe, thought you'd get away fwom me, huh Ken-Ken!" said a small Chibi-Yolei. "Marry  
me, Ken-Ken! I wuv you!" the Chibi-Yolei jumped onto Ken's face and hugged him as tight  
as a Chibi could hug. ^^;;;  
  
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
---  
  
Heh, I know it started to get really lame once Wallace entered. - -;;; It's just that,  
well, no one ever really writes about him. And my wittle personal plot device thought  
he'd be a good addition to the story. The Chibi-Yolei's was pretty funny, IMO. ^_^  
Note: I have nothing against Yolei at all. I just think that Ken would be dead scared  
of her because of her obsession with him. And besides, they were CHIBI! And Chibi's are  
usually hyper-active in these types of fics. Maybe I'll make another story like this,  
one about Davis or Cody or something. Well, that's only if you guys like this. That's a  
very slim chance tho. Okay, I'll stop with the self-bashing. ~~; 


End file.
